...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it was like having sex with a tree stump
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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