What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
