Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
