dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
