omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
