Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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