i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
