Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
