Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
