You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
