I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
