so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
