fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
