would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
