Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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