He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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