Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
