Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
