Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
