So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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