These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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