...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
