The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
