i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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