He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
