It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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