apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
