My brain says no but my pants say off.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
