Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I touched a dick in church today
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