Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize