The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
