I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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