so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize