I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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