some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
