Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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