Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
