i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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