Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize