She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
