have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You are a booty call, not a friend.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
