Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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