Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
