Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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