That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
