i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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