Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
