I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We are all done wearing pants today
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize