Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
