You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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