we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
