Say something about gay babies.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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