i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
