This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize