He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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