Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize