I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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