And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize