I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
