Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
