this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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