4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
