just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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