Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I party with great urgency now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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