Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
