Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
